SHE.HER.

MMmm I'm in a very bored and annoyed mood today. :s LOL so i'll probably write something not so happy? LOL
Sometimes I think I miss you. But then again, I'm wrong
I'm fine without you. Sure, it hurts that it feels like i've lost a friend but the thing is, it wasn't my fault at all. You are the one to stop talking. You are the one who left and i'm sick of being the one who always tries and find my way back next to you cos it's like you'd always just walk faster. The distance between us is stretching too far, it's almost impossible to keep up with you now. Who knows what's on your mind. Who knows what you're thinking about nowadays. seriously, I dont really care no more. We've drifted and I gotta learn to accept the fact.
I miss your warm hugs at times, and hearing your voice all the time, or your sms messages and just the sound of your laughter. But hey, if they're already taken by someone else, i'll accept it. We all gotta let go and move on but it seems really really hard sometimes. Like right now. I know I shouldnt miss you, but it annoys me that I do. Why should i? You don't care about me. Well it doesnt seem like it. so why should i? There are more people out there, who might be better than you, and will make a better friend than you. But truthfully, I don't think there will be anyone that will be able to replace you in my memories. The times we've spent together was quite a lot... and they were indeed enjoyable, but as time goes on things change. we change. and somewhere along the line we came apart.
I remember I wrote a poem to a friend of mine tellin her how much i missed our friendship, and it made her cry. The poem did its work there. But I don't think a poem would ever bring you back to me. You're different. And I bet you don't even miss me. Do i ever come up in your mind? LOok, when we see each other, you don't even say hi to me. It's like we're two different people, from two entirely differnet worlds. Strangers.
I sometimes wish that we could somehow go back in time and relive all the funny moments together and like try our best to prevent our split, but why think of the impossible? it's impossible. It seems like youre happy now. Yeah.
So I hope all will go well for you. Whatever youre up to these days. and if maybe one day you read this and decide that you miss me and the friendship we had, then we can start over again.
"A ring is round and never ends that's how long i'll be your friend" LOL whatever. it doesnt always work man.
It's funny how after all this time, I still love you. When i'm bored, I re-read our msgs, chat logs and emails, and i laugh. They're hilarious i swear. LOL Guess it goes to show how much I really do miss you huh? But i'll keep denying it to myself and maybe one day i really WON'T miss you.

Labels: friends, missing you, rage

pains and what nots

It's funny how much a guy can change for a girl. It's funny how they can change from a perfectly nice guy to an ass for the sake of one girl. It's weird how when you're away from her, you're an entire different person. Someone who we all like more, but when the topic of her comes out, you become overprotective. You'd strike like a blind cat.

Have you ever realised how many girls you'd hurt because of her. How you left so many friends to be with her? Boy you got your priorities wrong. Girl over friend? nah uh man. That ain't the way. Sometimes I feel like I really need to slap some sense into yah. But hey, who am I to boss you around? You are you. YOU live your life. There's nothing I can do to change you except maybe talk to you. But the thing is, am i WILLING to talk to you, when you're such an ass? sorry mate. No can do. so it's either her or your friends take it or leave it.

Remember the times we had? all the GREAT FUN times we had that seem oh-so-distant now? The time when she never came up in your head, the time when we could talk about anything in the world together and laugh along to it? Along comes her, and now we never talk. You're never there. NEVER.
I used to miss you. that's right. i USED to. and everytime i talked to you, it'd be a hasty reply of "sorry". Sorry is only meant to be used when you mean it pal. Don't say it if you dont mean it. As time went on, i stopped thinking of our moments together. Well, not really, they still pop up sometimes =\ but oh wells, the point i'm making, is that I stopped missing you. I stopped wanting to talk to you. If you didn't wanna talk to me, that wasn't my problem. Cos to put it bluntly, I don't care. Why should I care about you when you dont? pointless.

Then came the day when you compforted me at my hour of need. It's been a million years since we last talked, or so it seems, and then you walk back into my vision. You lent me your shoulder as i cried, and I realised how much I missed you. You hugged me and told me to cheer up. and i realised how much i missed talking to you and hearing your voice. You a dmit to me that we havent talkked in a while, and it was YOUR fault. you apologize only, the next day your'e back to her.

We're back to where we started. Dude, what's the point in this friendship? One where you just keep walking in and out. Cutting and healing me. Givin me hope and then burning them

This kind of friendship, i don't need. I'm better off without it. And even if it's not for me, stop hurting my friends. I know you can do better than that.

Labels: friends, rage